Don’t be a Kumquat

For those of you who don’t know, kumquats are the wannabe cousins of an orange. It is the smaller, pain-in-the-ass to eat, looks like an orange but is so not an orange, fruit that leaves an awful bitter taste in your mouth. Let’s face it… they suck. In fact, kumquats can’t even grow from their own seed they need the rootstock, A.K.A the crap left behind from other citrus plants in order to grow. 

Kumquats come in more than just fruit form. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that kumquats can be people too. You know that telemarketer who calls the second you sit down to eat dinner? He’s a kumquat. Or what about the friend or family member that feels the need to forward every, I mean EVERY, chain email to you and their entire address book because they’re afraid that if they don’t meet the twelve person minimum they’ll never find Prince Charming? She’s a kumquat. Real life kumquats can do more than just leave a bad taste in your mouth. Sometimes they just make an eyebrow-raising decision. For example, take a look at exhibit A:


I mean…come on. I can’t be the only person that wants to shake Spermies and scream, “Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!” Now I’m not trying to throw anyone under the bus here. The name is slightly unfortunate (but then again I can’t judge considering my last name is a dental product), but the logo, that’s some serious kumquatery. 

One thing this name and logo secured with its customers was brand recognition. This image will forever be embedded into our memory. But, is it for the right reasons? Do we remember it because it entertains us or do we remember it because we like the product or service? Did your last brand image decision leave a bitter, confused taste in your mouth or a citrusy, fresh taste? Regardless of your answer, there is good news: there is a way to avoid being a kumquat!

Be fresh, be inventive, be you, but most importantly be smart! Command attention from your sheer awesomeness not your awfulness. After all, who doesn’t want to be a juicy Florida orange over a sour kumquat? So when you’re sitting at your desk/table/creative spot and you find yourself in a bind, just remember: Don’t be a kumquat!